


Dirk Gently's Holistic Meme Agency

by TheRoyalPrussianArmy



Series: Panty Saga [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 00:05:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoyalPrussianArmy/pseuds/TheRoyalPrussianArmy
Summary: Dirk Gently and Amanda Brotzman are Meme Lords. Todd is Long Suffering. Farah steers clear.This is all chat log, not written-out fic, but is essentially crack fic. Consider it the plot of a crack fic, written in logs, by two people memeing one another. Burdened with glorious meme-age, letting the DGHDA characters go where they wont with memes. No ragerts.





	Dirk Gently's Holistic Meme Agency

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liztalkstrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liztalkstrash/gifts).



> No ragerts. Not a single letter. Not a single meme. Over 9000 points of thanks to Liz for their contributions and glorious memeing. Tears were shed. Breath was lost. Meme Gently will rise again.

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:10 PM  
dirk is doge personified

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:10 PM  
HE IS  
such detective, very holistic, wow

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:11 PM  
he says that around todd  
todd weeps manly tears of pain

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:11 PM  
if todd even knows what a meme is ill eat my hat

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:11 PM  
okay but consider this: amanda knows what a meme is, and she would 10/10 have shown todd  
amanda probably introduced dirk to memes

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:12 PM  
DIRK GETS HIS MEMES OFF ICANHAZCHEESEBURGER  
ITS CANON NOW

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:12 PM  
todd said "AMANDA NO" and amanda replied with "AMANDA YES"

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:12 PM  
amanda def knows what memes are

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:12 PM  
Amanda is the type to inflict meme pain on others, and for a long time that meant her brother  
i bet amanda uses pepe

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:13 PM  
shes got a shitpost tumblr with 30000 followers

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:13 PM  
she is THE shitpost tumblr

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:14 PM  
amanda ran the animal 100 blogs  
all of them

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:14 PM  
todd followed all of them at first because he wanted to support his sister, not knowing what he was getting into  
he has tried to unfollow them since but amanda hacks his account and refollows every time

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:15 PM  
todd still has the default layout and cant figure out the search function

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:15 PM  
amanda got dirk a tumblr and dirk follows all the meme and shitpost blogs until he and amanda are rival shitpost memers  
he also makes sure amanda gets todds account to follow him

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:16 PM  
dirks blog looks like a myspace page from 2004  
he has so many badges it crashes on loading  
the curser sparkles and u cant turn off the music

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:17 PM  
the background of it is bright pink with kittens  
he has those 2000-style stamps

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:18 PM  
all the jpegs are compressed to unrecognizability

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:18 PM  
"just because you dont understand me doesnt mean im weird" "i'd rather be WEIRD than NORMAL" "gerard way is H O T"  
"i made u a cookiez but i eatedz it :("

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:18 PM  
o h m y c h r i s t y e s  
im weeping

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:19 PM  
DIRK GENTLY WROTE MY IMMORTAL

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:19 PM  
its so beautiful  
FUCK  
BUT HE DID IT UNIRONICALLY

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:19 PM  
AMANDA SOBS WHEN SHE FINDS OUT  
BEGS HIM TO LET HER TELL THE WORLD  
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:24 PM  
LMFAO  
"nothings wrong, just meme gently, writer of my immortal"

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:25 PM  
MEME GENTLY

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:25 PM  
dirk memely  
i bet you anything  
dirk would hang memes up in the office

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:25 PM  
YESSSS

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:25 PM  
and farah would take them down bc dirk would purposely hang so many of them up around todd's space that todd would just break down crying  
"i thought with amanda gone i wouldnt have to suffer this any more"

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:26 PM  
HE WOULDNT CROP THEM OR ANYTHING

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:26 PM  
dirk prints out shrek heads and nicolas cage heads and sticks them EVERYWHERE

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:26 PM  
JUST 8x11 PIECES OF PAPER

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:26 PM  
todd wakes up one day to find a shrek head glued to his phone

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:27 PM  
todd starts having meme nightmares

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:27 PM  
pepe the frog is chasing him, calling for his panties  
there is a cat to the left, hanging on a branch, telling him to hang in for cheezeburgrs  
if he looks over his shoulder he sees seven different movie stars in a running pose behind him  
up ahead of him is the sun  
but its not the sun  
its doge  
"much meme, such sun, wow"  
he gets to a cliff and on it there is a goat. todd starts to climb it  
the goat looks at him  
"you really crave that mineral, dont you"  
todd screams, and falls back onto a heart  
he turns over, terrified as the strains of a song begin  
there is a baby approaching him with a machete  
"what is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more" gets louder  
todd pushes himself off of the heart and looks over his shoulder to see an unhappy bear face following him  
he ignores everyhing that it's saying and finds dirk in his dream, on a stage  
dirk grins and him. todd is going to kill him.  
he walks up on the stage, ready to fucking Fight dirk, when suddenly dirk opens his mouth and  
"we're no strangers to love! you know the rules, and so do i! a full commitment's what i'm, thinking of. you wouldn't get this from any other guy!"  
todd yells and tries to run away. he can't run away. martin is there, and then vogel, and gripps, and cross. they all surround him, forcing him to listen to dirk sing.

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:32 PM  
todd wakes up in a cold sweat to his phone going off

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:32 PM  
_its darude sandstorm_

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:32 PM  
he has an email from dirk  
"hey could you go here and sign this? thx!"  
he clicks it

KelpieMomma-Today at 6:33 PM  
dont forget the hearts dirk sends  
<3<3<3 xoxo

Liztalkstrash-Today at 6:33 PM  
its a rickroll  
todd just screams  
/end scene


End file.
